The second part of the ‘circles of confusion’ is a little less succesful in my opinion. In some ways it is still succesful but I do not think it is as well portrayed as part 1.
This was one of the first experiments I tried using different media. This video I tried to use some permanent marker to cover the screen, instead of paint and a brush. I have a thing for marker pens- I do not know why. I just love the texture that is created by scribbling on some paper. However, on a piece of acetate it did not work out the same.
I used black and red permanent marker. It doesn’t cover the screen in the way I had intended. Basically the pens created a sort of coloured gel over the screen, something like you would get in a theatre show to create a different atmosphere. So I tried to use that to my advantage. I was thinking about creating a short narrative of some kind with using the different colours and process of changing the colours. However, I thought by actually creating a narrative might take away from what I want to create. I do not want to make the work too literal as I want people to react in their own way to it.
It is to be a personal realisation, not a forced one.
The main reason I do not think these videos are as succesful as Part 1, is because of my face. I do not really like being in the work – and to me that is why it is less preferred. I think with having a person in it creates more of a literal narrative. It creates questions as to why is this person doing this? What are they getting out of this? Are they telling us a story? And I think this is what I want to stay away from.
I like the more metaphorical aspect to my work rather than the literal.
I want people to question my work and have to delve deeper within themselves to try and ‘get’ something out of it. I want my work to be confusing or overwhelming or just odd to people. I want them to have to stop and think about it. Stop and think about why, why this has been done. I do not want them to think about the person (in this case) .
However, one thing I do find interesting about having a person in the shot is that they are covering themselves. I am painting/drawing on the screen to hide my face. To cover my face and to delve deep into the darkness. It is almost as if I am trying to hide in the darkness as if it is my home. I do not want to be in the spotlight – it is the opposite approach. It is slowly but surely, the dissolving into my own little world. It is the idea of over time it will become too much, too much to handle.
The darkness will become so overwhelming that one cannot escape.
This idea of the darkness being overwhelming is something I do want to contonue in my work. I want my work to be on a large scale and overwhelming because I do not want my audience to be able to escape from it. For my art to work I think it has to be done to the max. It is to be in your face, something that cannot be ignored. Something that cannot just be tucked away behind something to be ignored. It is has to be there. It has to be visible. I want people to be taken aback by it, something that cannot just be walked upon by. It is something that will have to be looked at and thought about. The work is undoubtedly personal and I want each person to have their own personal and individual view of what they are looking at – wether that be a negative approach or a positive approach. The mix of responses is what I would like form the audience as to me, this mirrors societies view on depression and mental illness. Some people will delve deep and try to understand it, try to make sense of it – whereas others will completely disregard it – and this is what is key at this moment in time.