The process without a doubt is the most important aspect of my work. It is the the time and effort that it takes to create the work that is what makes the work, work. So I decided that it was time to document this work in a way that a sketchbook could not do.
From a previous work of destroying the cube, I did not want to just throw out all that polystyrene that I had teared apart. I wasn’t just going to put it in the bin as finding and using materials is a way I use to build my practice. So of course my first thought was I want to paint them black. But I thought I would rather create a piece of work that could be added and used within my installations so I decided to stick and glue the polystyrene leftovers to a piece of foam board.
I had to then wait for the glue to dry which took pretty much all day because the studio was so damn cold. But eventually I got round to painting it. Painting it black (of course).
What intrigued me about this little piece was the texture that it created. From looking at it in an image it looks very similar to an earlier piece that I created with acrylic paint and a tiny brush with only a few little hairs.
However, in reality they are very different. The texture of the polystyrene creates large mounds within the foam board and it is easily noticeable when it was white, before I had transformed it into the darkness. However, when it’s black it is harder to see. It is like it’s there but not there. This idea is an idea that has been apparent in my work from the very start as to me it also mirrors the idea of depression.
The idea of something being there but also not being there at the same time is evident to me. The idea of depression being there in someones life, someones mind – but it also might not be the case that it is physically there. And in a way I think this is how sometimes society still views mental health. And this is why I want to create work.
My work is obviously very personal but that evidently does not mean I am the only person who has suffered from such illnesses. I want to change the perception of how mental health is viewed. Not everyone will understand my work but that mirrors societies ideas of depression and other mental illnesses. Not everyone will get it, but not everyone gets mental health.